Dear Viewer: (in a thick Southern drawl) My, how personal! Can't you just feel the love?

Veronica Mars is a show we all worked hard to support and make a success. Really? Then where's the support? Where's the promos? How come so few people outside of Neptune (and my adoring fans) have ever even heard of me? As much as I wish for it, they don't just hand out free airline tickets from Quantico to Neptune. I know; I tried. And I wished for this even more than a pony!

We feel it was an extremely high-quality program during its years on both CW and UPN. Maybe I have this wrong, but I thought being a (uses air quotes) "high-quality program" was a good thing. So what happened? Maybe it's like that sorority party I went to where "come dressed up" meant "come dressed as your favorite Pussycat Doll." I'm gonna have to ask Mac about this whole ratings thing.

Regrettably, that run has come to an end. So does that mean I shouldn't renew my subscription to the Prying Eyez database?

We hope you will sample some of our new programs this fall. So that when these shows eventually get canceled for even more reality shows, I'll wish I had my three years of emotional investment back all over again? Thanks, but I think I'll pass. Maybe I'll catch an episode of Gossip Girl in between cases and homework. I've heard really good things about that girl who does the voiceovers on that show.

Executive Vice President, Network Communications Is that what they're calling PR flunkies these days?